IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE

Tonight was one of the best, if not the best night of my life. I was honored at a dinner tonight for being a recipient of a family endowment scholarship. I had the chance to meet the family who chose me as the recipient of their scholarship and I couldn't have been more impressed. There are days when I have cried, wondering if what I am doing is the right thing; wondering if the sacrifices I have had to make are worth it. Tonight puts things into perspective. I have problems with making decisions. I am mortally terrified of making the wrong decision most likely because I have made so many before. Tonight I realized I have made good decisions, I have done the right thing, and the sacrifices I have made have all been worth it.

There were days when my son and I didn't know how we were going to eat or where we were going to live. Tonight we sat together dressed up and eating filet mignon. My son told me how proud he was of me and that he had big shoes to fill (clown shoes to be exact!) and that moment was the best moment of my life. I have made many mistakes and bad decisions and unfortunately my son has been the recipient of all the consequences of my bad decision making. I feel truly blessed that I have been able to show him that you can get kicked to the ground, you can hit rock bottom and wallow there for awhile and still pick yourself back up and start again. I have been blessed beyond even what I could have dreamed for and it helps me to dream bigger and builds my confidence to realize that the sky is the limit. We spoke of adversity tonight and how adversity can be a blessing in the end. This is so true. Had so many bad things not happened to me I would never have experienced the joy that I did tonight.

I have come to realize that I am beginning to feel human now that I am in my thirties. I cannot explain why things are different, but they are. I was a lost soul in my twenties and seemed to wander aimlessly around with no idea of where I was coming from or where I was going. As I have progressed through my thirties life has just become easier. Things have begun to make sense and a good life seems possible. I almost can't wait to see what my forties have in store for me. It can only get better from here. I am so thankful for everything I have been given and the life that I have been given and the people I have met and the people who have hurt me. Everything that I am and everything that I will be is because of where I have been.

It is truly a wonderful life!